After surviving muddy trails, fossil showdowns, and half marathons that felt like slow-cooked torture, we finally had a free weekend. And what better way to spend it than giving Wilko the Wonder Van the glow-up he truly deserves?
We weren’t going for “functional.” Oh no. We were aiming for “so stylish it could moonlight as a runaway model.” Think less “weekend warrior” and more “GQ cover shoot on wheels.”
🪵 Step One: Bye-Bye Splinters, Hello Sophistication
Wilko’s woodwork had seen things. It had the haunted look of a pirate ship that’d been through one too many storms. Splinters? More than a pine forest in a blender. Time for a makeover.
We flirted with red. We flirted with black. But in the end, dark grey won our hearts. Sleek. Moody. The kind of colour that says, “Yes, I camp—but make it fashion.”
🧵 Step Two: Fabric Therapy
Next up: the exposed metal. You know the kind—cold, shiny, and about as inviting as a dentist’s tray. We covered it with fabric, transforming Wilko from “abandoned scrapyard” to “Scandi-chic studio apartment.”
We even made custom fabric cupboard fronts. No more open-shelf chaos. Now it’s all clean lines and concealed snacks. If IKEA did campervans, this would be their flagship model.
🧊 Step Three: Double Fridge, Double Fancy
Why have one fridge when you can have two? We installed a second fridge in the garage—on wheels, no less. Perfect for beach days, road trips, or hiding emergency snacks from each other.
Some might call it overkill. We call it preparedness. Because you never know when you’ll need ten bags of crisps and half a watermelon. Or when Paula will declare a sudden prosecco emergency.
🌈 Step Four: Wilko Goes Full Disco
Now for the pièce de résistance: glow lighting.
Ten metres of LED strips. Under the van. Along the awning. I spent hours crawling around like a budget electrician, stripping wires and muttering things like “This better not short out the fridge.”
But oh, was it worth it. Wilko now looks like a spaceship landing at a disco party. Mood lighting? Check. Colour-changing options? Absolutely. Romantic stargazing? Sorted. Impromptu rave in a lay-by? Don’t tempt us.
We even considered a fog machine. But decided against it—mostly because we didn’t want to be mistaken for a UFO or accidentally summon the fire brigade.
🛠️ Coming Soon: Ceiling Swag
We’re not done yet. Oh no. We’ve got acoustic roof panels and new ceiling lights on order. Because nothing says “adventure-ready” like a van that’s soundproofed and softly lit like a boutique hotel.
🧼 Final Thoughts: From Grit to Glam
Wilko’s transformation is well underway. He’s still the same lovable beast underneath—but now he’s got a bit of swagger. A bit of sparkle. A bit of “I could host a TED Talk or a techno night, depending on the mood.”
Next stop: more adventures, more upgrades, and probably more snacks hidden in increasingly creative places.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Extreme Makeover: Campervan Edition.
